Working With Myself

Discovering some tough little patches, more in my psyche than anything else. I'm accepting things about myself and denying other things that I've taken too long to come to terms wiith. Things are moving steadily in work but I'm not sure of myself. I don't feel I have much in common with people here.
Don't ask me why, just call it a hunch...
However, I see hope for myself. Tomorrow's a new day. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
I've been reading a book called Wize Wayz For Teenz, which is more geared toward adults than anyone would think the cover would state. Full of happy little affirmations and handy quotes from figures from the bible to Albert Enstien to Ghandi and then some. It's a nice book and I implore people to read it

Lately I've had a fuzzy feeling in my head, like it was full of cotton but all the same thinking deeper, more clearly. It's not like I have a choice but my vision is brighter. (Not clearer but brighter)The things that stick out to me that I like are that much more prominent and the things that I dislike are better wreathed in my conscious mind. Things around me are changing in view, not that they are actually visibly changing but to my eyes, as of late, it might as well be different. Sometimes I look at things and see them caricatured. Sometimes I look at people when they are saying something hurtful or that I don't like and the air they breath becomes darker, even if their bodies are bright and pleasant to see.

I can't explain it but I think the way I'm going is best nonetheless. I am walking my path, whether or not it pleases me at this moment. I don't know why but something tells me it's how it's supposed to be. The voices in my head, the ones I use to think, not some schizo whatever, are clearer as well. I can  hear myself and the different fractions of my personality better. My coping mechanisms work more efficiently. Maybe I'm developing, maybe not.

There's an act of faith in it all, I suppose. If this is getting closer to enlightenment then it is something I simply CANNOT dwell upon. Something that I can't define if telling me to keep foing what I am doing and my logical mind is telling me that I'm not doing anything "wrong" yet I am experiencing self doubt more and more. Is this a challenge from "above" or just another bit of motion everyone must go through and find their own way into?

So this blog update, not so literal as philosophical. I guess it's a bunch of stuff I need to clear from my mind.